Monday, June 9, 2014

Princess Bride: First impressions

Alright, since this is apparently a standalone movie I'm not going to put up a separate post for predictions and whatnot. I know of this movie even less than I knew of Star Wars. For the record, though, I've enclosed my starting point on Princess Bride just so we're all on the same page.


• There's a Princess. Who is also a Bride.

• That's all.

Seriously I've got nothing. The title doesn't give me anything and I haven't even seen the box of the DVD. Apparently I should also add:

• It's the best

because everyone is clamoring for this movie. With a bizarre title. Sounds like a fairytale didn't know which way it was going. At any rate, I'm sitting here with an excellent breakfast in front of me and an open mind after all of the awesome that was Star Wars. So let's go, Princess Bride. It's your turn to try and impress me. :D

MGM. Love the logo.

oh wow crappy video game

haha cheek pinching/ sucks so much.

guys

guys this is going to be my favorite thing

you don't even know

kid you're a brat I want you to know that

well that guy's rakishly handsome isn't he

HAHAHHAHA oh it hurts to laugh kid you're great

"Hear this now:" I want more of these hash browns Roomie is a kitchen sorcerer

murdered by pirates is good :D

well it's not, I suppose, but I'm not sold on this lady

HAHAHAHA those crowns are ridiculous

Humpadick? really? it's that kind of movie?

Humperdink. Okay. Better. sorta. guy's definitely a dink.

well that's a motley crew

that was sudden

that guy's got the thickest accent I've ever heard

what even is that accent

dear lord that man's short

this guy's got a voice like a monkey rat duck.

are we playing rhyme games? :D

:D

:D

ANYBODY WANNA PEANUT OH GOD IT HURTS TO LAUGH

HAHHAHA

eel-infested? no why does this keep happening STOP DOING THIS

dog paddle

WHAT NO

NO


SHRIEKING EELS NO NO NO GOD WHY

thank you grandpa I needed the break you guys why is this a thing that happens

big guy has NO TIME FOR YOUR SHIT, eel

he really is huge isn't he.

CLIFFS OF INSANITY oh this is a D&D movie

my god that man's big. he makes it look real too. kudos to the team that did that

a man all in black. awesome.

oh come on how many giants can there be looking for work right now

wow those cliffs

hey

you keep using that word it doesn't mean what you think :D

dueling left-handed? why?

gigantic criminal kidnapper talking about trust issues I'm amused

what

HAHAHAHHAHAHA so impatient

calling it now: this is the new romantic lead

HAAHHAHAHA

well masked man you seem like an excellent judge of character don't you

Reminds me of Zorro

that's a weird question HAHAHA

oh

guys SOLD. Is this guy the actual lead? Are they going to team up?

oh yes it's great I had a chill go through me

:D

"I hate to die"

they're going to team up

SWORDFIGHT YES

evenly matched

RIGHT YES :D

that's incredible it's so intricate and he's doing it with two hands

HAHAHHHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHAHAHA

fake

"GET USED TO DISAPPOINTMENT" told.

fantastic guys this is the best thing

HAHAHHAA always with that word

:D

he's so happy I love it

"my way's not very sportsmanlike" :D Fezig I love you

Fezig you're still the greatest and I love you.

like civilized people. It hurts to laugh.

wait he really is that huge

there's no way everyone else is that tiny that man is a literal giant

annnnd this is doing nothing

FEZIG IS AWESOME :D

comfortable HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAH

the battle conversations are just so entertaining :D

FIGHTING GANGS FOR CHARITY

LOOK AT THE SIZE OF JUST HIS HEAD

"dream of large women" it hurts to laugh

oh look it's Prince Dink.

how the blazes did they get those horses up there

I can't disagree that in a D&D movie that's sound policy

"morons"

interested

and then you can stab him

nice

SO RUDE TO AUSTRALIA

so he can't choose either cup. Dizzying logic, annoying voice man

it's not in either cup and he's going to get stabbed

seriously?

AHA that's clever I like it :D

Prince Exposition is back

oh come on don't be sexist

so full of crap falcon in the clouds indeed

I thought it didn't smell

I feel like he's putting on a show

THE DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS love the name

that's him isn't it

HAHAHHA it's just so casually witty

well you've thrown both of you down a hill is what you've done

THE FIRE SWAMP such a D&D movie I LOVE IT

I forgot about the kid :D

"someday you won't mind so much" hahaha

I don't think you get the meaning of safe

"you're only saying that because no one ever has" it hurts to laugh

so he really is Roberts then?

AND WE HAVE QUICKSAND

WHAT THE SHIT IS THAT THING

NO GET IT AWAY NOT A FAN

you asked for that what are they called?

oh god it's just the worst thing

AGAIN WITH THE TONGUE

it's like this horrible cross between a rat and a wolf

HAHAHAHHAHAHA

HAHAHA oh goatee man you're a dick I love it

OH SHIT

OH THIS MOVIE JUST GOT EVEN BETTER YOU GUSY

Star Wars looked so much better than this movie in every way. Must have come later.

HAHHA the voice

so much enthusiasm

what might the machine be, I wonder

CROWN'S STILL RIDICULOUS

"who says life is fair"

 we did this already guys

BOOO
BOOOOOOOO
BOOOOOOOOOOO

"yes you're very smart shut up"

of course it was you. clever scheme.

"I'm swamped" :D

this looks unpleasant

what is it doing?

HAHAH this guy's awkward

THIEVES' FOREST such a D&D movie

a brute squad. good name.

ANIGO! :D

AND FEZIG! :D

wow the hand size

RHYME GAMES :D

well this is all just great :D

"Rugen?" I think that's right. I was gonna call him Tyrone.

they're going to attack a castle? :D

I WANT TO SEE THIS

you're a bad liar Humperdink.

see that's just not an intimidating line

OHGODWHAT

why is it still going

Fezig has NOT TIME FOR YOUR SHIT. And still says thank you. Fezig I love you.

failed

HAHAHAHA

I'm with you kid.

OH COME ON I CAN'T AVOID LEAKS IF YOU PUT THEM INSIDE THE MOVIE

A MIRACLE well alright then that's more like it

that's the oldest man ever

HAAAAAAAHAHAHHAHA YESSSS YES HE IS

he's like this crazy gnome fella

"I've seen worse" YOU'RE THE NEW BEST

rush a miracle man, you get rotten miracles. this is my new catchphrase. If I ever play again this will be my line.

MOSTLY dead. they were always saying that in my group. Now I know where it came from :D

hehe love the miracle pill. shouldn't go swimming

IT WOULD TAKE A MIRACLE :D

"no, let me sum up" NOW I AM EXCITED :D

Fezig you just make me smile so much

HAHA FEZIG HAS ALL THE ANSWERS

hehe the head

"He's had a hard day" THAT'S PUTTING IT MILDLY

I hope you win too, Fezig.

I believe we call that a shit-eating grin

PAUSE. NOPE. HURTS TO LAUGH. OH GOD THEY HAVE ELMER FUDD DOING THE WEDDING.

OH IT'S STILL GOING

awesome

yes yes yes

he's like this giant FLAMING GRIM REAPER WELL SHIT GUYS ALL YOUR WORST NIGHTMARES

"fowevaaaaahh"

I couldn't make out that line

Fezig has NO TIME FOR YOUR SHIT, portcullis

HAHAHHAHAHA oh you mean this one sure

holy shit Anigo is the man

oh it's on

OH IT'S OFF YOU BLOODY COWARD

so polite, Fezig. I love you.

SHE KISSED ME AHAHAHAHA ohhhh it hurts to laugh

OH WHAT NO

oh you are a stone cold dick man

HAHAHHAA well said Wesley

GET HIM ANIGO

prepare to die

my name is Anigo Montoia. You kill my father. Prepare to die.

Yeah it's ON

AWESOME.

AWESOME AWESOME AWESOME

the actual princess bride is the worst character in the movie. she's so flat and listless

neither am I

shivers. this speech.

he doesn't even blink

yeah Humperdink basically just et himself

HEHEHEHE

okay I can accept this outcome

HELLO LADY Fezig is just the absolute best

Fezig is the most adorable thing

THAT IS AN EXCELLENT IDEA. ANIGO FOR DREAD PIRATE.

RIGHT YES I GET IT.

Okay that's just a smashing movie. I'm aching all over from laughter. It felt too short by half. I'm going to need some time to put together my thoughts for the full comments. Don't rush a miracle man, though, or you'll get a rotten miracle. :D

23 comments:

  1. Whoever is choosing these things for you is doing a good job. You're doing a good job too.

    -Anonyman

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Westley", "Fezzik", "Inigo Montoya".

    Fezzik's accent is French the same as the actor/pro wrestler who played him, Andre The Giant, but the character is (supposedly) Turkish. Andre really was that big, 7'4". He could also drink over 100 beers in a single sitting (his record was 156) and frequently ordered one of every item on the menu of a restaurant and ate a whole thing.

    Tyrone is his name, Count Rugen is his title. Like Alfred, Lord Tennyson

    The R.O.U.S.es are how I always pictured dire rats in D&D.

    Actually, this movie came out ten years after A New Hope, 7 years after Empire Strikes Back, and 4 years after Return of the Jedi. Not everything had Star Wars's combination of an enormous effects budget and brilliant talent until around the 90s.

    The first time I saw this movie I was 10 years old. My parents had just got divorced and it was my second weekend with my dad. He had a commitment he had to leave for, so he got Amy, my favorite cousin, to come and babysit me. She watched this movie with me. I felt much better about spending the weekends with him after that.

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Mawwige! Mawwige is wot bwings us togevvah....today!"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I would like to state, for the record, that this is how my actual wedding ceremony began. The guests broke down into two categories: Those who immediately chuckled and those who had big question marks form above their heads. Guess which group were my friends. :)

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  4. You should read the book; I have various biases, but I tend to like it even more than the movie. There's a completely different framing story, and footnotes that explain why the "abridger" cut out stuff from the "original" where he did.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree with Kd7sov - go find the book by William Goldman. It's incredible. It's so good that a handful of offers were made for the rights but Goldman wouldn't hand over his favorite story to any of them. I'm still not sure how Rob Reiner got to make it.

      Delete
  5. This is great. I'm really appreciating your liveblogging, even though that isn't usually my thing.

    Is there a list of movies you're looking to tackle in the future? Are you taking suggestions?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There is and I am! :D

      There's a message board topic on RPGnet where the majority of the suggestions are coming in from. They're good folks with a lot of things to throw at me, and that's exactly what I asked them to do. Lacy is also checking comments on the blog for suggestions, so if you have any that you want covered, throw them on the stack.

      I should ask Roomie about putting a list thing up in the side space under the post list.

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  6. I met Andre the Giant once. At the time I was 6'7" tall and weighed over 400 pounds. He made me feel like a midget. The man was ungodly huge, his hand literally wrapped around my head. He was a friendly and amazing man

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just can't believe the incredible size of him. Like, the size of his head, his hands... the man's a titan! Was his accent really that heavy?

      Delete
    2. Was a titan, sadly. He passed away several years ago.

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    3. Well that's... that's a legitimate downer. Size-related health issue? :(

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    4. Afraid so. He had acromegaly, and terrible back problems as a result. Wiki says he died of congestive heart failure.

      He was most famous for being a wrestler, and he was so big he could win fights just by sitting on people.

      Delete
    5. One other cool thing about Andre the Giant: He was friends with Samuel Beckett, who used to drive him to school. :)

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    6. One other cool thing about Andre the Giant: He was friends with Samuel Beckett, who used to drive him to school. :)

      Delete
  7. "oh come on how many giants can there be looking for work right now"

    That is one of the greatest things I have ever read. Thank you for doing these. It's absolutely wonderful.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks so much! I'm lucky people are so interested in these. It makes it feel like I'm doing something with my day besides just mending.

      Delete
  8. The cliffs of insanity are the Cliffs of Moher in Ireland. Andre really did climb up them which is how they get that shot. He was going to do it with the 3 actors actually strapped to him but he had a back problem right before so he did it with dummies attached instead.

    ReplyDelete
  9. According to Hulk Hogan (a very famous professional wrestler), Andre would drink champagne by the bottle, and could put a case of it away at a time. He also once took a giant dump in another wrestler's bed as a prank.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Here's his most famous wrestling match. It was against Hulk Hogan at Wrestlemania III at the Pontiac Silverdome in 1987.

      https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y-o9-CqovKM

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