Alright, here we go. Just have to push play.
There's a fanfare I know. 20th Century Fox logo. Cool. So far, so good.
Heh, it's like fairy tales gone sci-fi. "A long time ago..."
MotherFUCKER I am sold this music is who did this who kept this hidden from me.
This says Episode IV. I am confusion. And we're reading! The evil galactic empire, so I was right!
Oh cool, we have letters of transit. Or will this be more significant? Also clearly DEATH STAR is meant to be in all caps so we're doing that.
I'm missing like half of this because awesome music. Rewinding to catch it all.
Already stoked and nothing is happnSHIP LASERS
Dear god, do you have enough ship there? There's an underdog message in all this, I'm sure of it
One talks, one doesn't Alright then
White robots! The Empire
Man, do not fuck with the white robots. Are they robots?
There's a black one!
With asthma. Okay, that's a guy in a suit then. Nobody else is breathing like that though.
There's the princess.
Okay this guy has a badass voice and NO TIME FOR YOUR SHIT. I like him already.
Well at least she got one. Helpless damsels is a bad cliche. Also I'm pretty sure they're soldiers in armor, not robots.
Oh THIS is Vader. That makes a lot of sense man I'm dumb
Vader would like you to know about all of the time he has none of. For your shit.
Man don't backtalk Vader, he's got no time for your shit.
These robots feel like a classic comedy duo. I'm impressed that it works so well even though one of them doesn't talk. or have conventional body language.
Gold and Silver have split up already. You fools! Don't split the party!
This must have been amazing to see back in whenever year.
Okay what? Silver can scream? That's disturbing. And now lots of goblins.
creepy looking robot
HAHAHA what the hell is that robot? It looks like a garbage bin with legs.
Party's back together. That was quick.
Oh wow. Okay, yeah, the obvious new thing sticks out and doesn't look good. It's like a lizard cow thing.
Aha, I hear a main theme coming back. Luke is our main character, I think.
He was going to whatnow?
I just noticed, Owen's wearing robes. Is he Jedi?
We have names for robots!
Ooh, a plot hook!
This name is going to give me trouble. Odie Wonkanodi? Obie Wonkanodi?
It's going to run away now. Just you wait.
HAHAHA "no. I don't like you either." "sad sound"
Oh you two know who that is. A WIZARD. SPACE WIZARD I CALLED IT.
oh okay so it's Obie Won. Got it.
IT'S LIKE ANDROIDS I get it now.
I just need to say, again, this music is astounding. Also two suns! Also he lives with his uncle and aunt, his father totally did something foolish and got both parents killed. That's my bet. And there goes R2D2. I am a genius who wins all of the bets!
WHAT THE HELL ARE THOSE and why are they wearing burlap sacks on their heads
WHACK yes I guess you can see one now. You asked for that why does it howl like that
well that was predictable. Space orcs?
Space wizard! Hello there! That's Jedi. Well, Ben, but you get my point. I AM STILL RIGHT.
OH NOT THEM AGAIN I don't like that howling.
C whatever is a goddamn pessimist.
Oh wow okay so Jedi is a thing you are, not a name. And they're pilots who fight clones?
SOLD. LIGHTSABER. LOVE IT. so it's like a sword made of laser?
Oho, Vader's his blood enemy
The Force! I feel like I am learning things! And there's a dark side of it, and Vader's on the dark side. Alright. I feel smart now.
And now we have the quest! Go to Aldaran to deliver the secret plans!
Obie Wan, master of the hard sell. Be a space wizard, Luke!
That must be the DEATH STAR! Holy crap it's massive.
Okay I want to know who the hell this is because Vader's following him like a dog. Apparently Vader has time for Skullface's shit. He's not the emperor. Can I get a name?
Space DARK WIZARD. LOVE IT. He's got no time for your lack of faith.
No but seriously that guy tells Vader what to do who the hell is he
So does it like carpet bomb planets or
Oh those were Jajas. Meh, they weren't so bad.
Oh I have a bad feeling about this. Luke just got double orphaned, didn't he
so I have no idea what the floating ball means. It has a needle? this feels like a reference to something I don't know.
So Luke is going to take on Vader at the end. Watch out, Vader's not one for the taking of shit.
More new effects that look bad. Why would you do this?
You just got told by a space wizard. That's a useful power. "You don't need that' "okay"
I need to pause the movie here because I just have to say: I am overwhelmed by the sheer imaginativeness of this bar scene. There's a new creature every second and they're all so incredibly different, and they you've got the aliens playing space jazz that sounds awesome because seriously who wrote the music for this film I want to shake their hand. And it doesn't let droids in, and there's just this flow of interactions between so many weird and wonderful critters. Right. This is just seriously impressive. I bet you're all laughing at me right now, but these are like practical effects, not computer things. Someone had to come up with all of these ideas and put them together and make them work and whoever it was just kept saying "we've got room for one more." Okay. Back to the film.
It just keeps going! Amazing
okay well the practical effects kind of fail with the arm but WHO CARES LIGHTSABER
DIFFERENT space jazz! Is there a whole album of this?
the falcon is a ship, isn't it. I'm dumb, aren't I
Han like the dynasty? Is this going to distract me? I fell like he's chaotic neutral. Big on the money thing.
No. No. Disappointed. You've got this orgy of imagination all around and then you call the green alien Greeno? Really?
Wonder if we'll see Jabba. Also Han's totally getting ready to shoot Greeno and run.
OR NOT. Walk away slowly. Cool as a cucumber. Chaotic neutral. I think I like Han.
They're being chased by an aardvark. This can't end well. And the aardvark is my cue to skip ahead!
to more aardvark. Who talks like a zipper.
The bear is the pilot? I love this movie.
I want that ship. I just want that as my sitting room.
Wait there's more than one of that big ship
Tarkin? Vader got the better name.
Oh is he gonna do it tell me he's gonna do it I wanna see. Scorched earth. Do it.
OH SHIT okay they really meant destroy
it's kind of horrifying to think about when Ben puts it that way
haha space chess. I love how much work went into trivial stuff in this movie.
HAHA wukees don't have time for your shit either.
Again, I love the music.
NO TIME FOR YOUR SHIT.
Ben senses Vader too, doesn't he?
Rescue the princess. Classic plot. Except with space!
Chaotic neutral. Love it. You're a class act, Han.
Heh. Droids get the short end of the stick.
HAHA little mouse thing. Chewy has no time for your shit.
Oh shit they're hunting each other. Can't wait.
HAHAHAHHAHA most awkward lying ever. How are you?
Gotta say, that was quicker than I expected.
...she's got cinnamon buns for hair, I just noticed this.
Love it. She's feisty.
What an incredible smell you've discovered!
the hell was that
nope we're not doing this
WHAT IS THAT
oh holy shit
this is stressful and yet I love it
No reward is worth this! LOVE IT SO MUCH
Ben's scenes are kind of slow. Did he magically distract them there?
AHAHAHAHHAHHAHA that was awesome
still just such an awesome, adventurous, heroic theme. how have I never heard this?
oh it's coming now, isn't it
YES IT IS ON
Lightsaber duel? Awesome.
Vader's is like this evil red and I love it.
Go on, tell him how much you have no time for his shit.
did he vanish? confused
R2D2 just laughed. It was adorable.
Oh you clever fuckers.
Haha, Luke has the hots for the princess
now we're at Jupiter or something. It's big and red.
I'm still sort of in awe that they filmed this.
okay I'm completely on board with the finale they're setting up.
Luke used to shoot wombats? I don't think that qualifies him to attack a planet-killing DEATH STAR.
but wait, when does Luke fight Vader? did I misread this
ah damn, Luke, you've got to go it alone now.
why is he bringing R2D2?
this is awesome. I'm so glad to be a part of this right now.
Yes you heard Ben, don't pretend you didn't.
This is going to be like Dambusters, isn't it
On board with all of this
Ben's giving him the force power!
thumbs up for the ship designs
Vader's a pilot too
dueling aces. sold.
I like how Vader's is more menacing than the normal ones
moustache is dead. :(
USE THE FORCE LUKE
YES IT'S HAN
BOOM YES I LOVE IT
Vader escaped. I smell a sequel!
Chaotic good? He's getting there.
More awesome music. I need to just listen to this soundtrack.
Okay well that was just fantastic.
Was that really all one movie?
Wrapping this up now that the credits are on. Late night, need sleep. This was a really good first pick. If the rest of the suggestions are like this, I'm going to have a lot of fun. :D